Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
