I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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