why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is it because I queefed?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
