You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
