Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
