The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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