that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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