Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
