The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
