I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
