That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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