she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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