i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
