just tell him i said nine months
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
