That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
