Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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