i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
