and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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