Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
