People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
