You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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