38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
