Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
