How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
