I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
