You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
