Moan for me like Helen Keller
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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