Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
