If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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