I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
