Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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