careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
