YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
