yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
