he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Terrible idea I love it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
