Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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