She said her name was "party"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
