you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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