Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize