very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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