she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
