so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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