I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
someone owes me an orgasm
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
