Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
