wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
