it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
