got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
