i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
