i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i out mim tonsoeep
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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