Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
