at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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