I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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