your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
