i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
