Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
