I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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