Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
do herpes really smell.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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