you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just found puke in my bra..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize