He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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