I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
