She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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